Gay Rodeo
Hello! I know it’s been a few months but work and life have been busy and the writer’s block has been real (can you call it that if you aren’t a writer?)! I am going to do my best to get back to blogging and continue on my “One New Thing Each Week" kick after taking a few months off.
Anyways, to kick off the return to the blog I need to write about this past weekend. And what better weekend is there than one with hot cow-folks, animals, and food trucks?
Hint: There isn’t one… I’m talking about an All-Inclusive rodeo of course! This weekend, my fiance and I attended the Show-Me State All Inclusive Rodeo in Kansas City!
For a little background: Dan and I both grew up with a love of animals and wildlife but as we got older, we both moved to the city and just didn’t have the chance to be around animals as much as either of us would have liked. In October of this last year we heard of a gay rodeo taking place in El-Reno, Oklahoma and we decided we just had to go see what it was all about. After a weekend in the stands, cheering on the strangers we realized that this was something we needed to be a part of. After hearing the name “GPRA” thrown around all weekend, and a quick google search, Dan found the Great Plains Rodeo Association: our local chapter of the IGRA (International Gay Rodeo Association). Dan was quick to get us signed up, pay our dues, and get us registered as full-fledged members but that was just the beginning. Not long after, we attended our first in-person meeting of the GPRA in OKC. We sat in and listened, somewhere between budget talks and new business we heard about an upcoming rodeo in Denton, TX and the rodeo school they were putting on the day before where newbies could learn some of the most popular events held at the gay rodeo. Of course we were busy that weekend with camping out for Record Store Day but Dan, ever the sleuth, found another rodeo school happening in Kansas City in a few months and that’s how we ended up there this past weekend.
The weekend kicked off on Friday with the rodeo school. Dan and I have been itching to get some one-on-one training when it comes to rodeo activities since we are both newbies. The school was fun and extremely helpful and taught us a lot while also sending us home with a lot to work on, here are the events we were able to practice:
Goat Dressing: A Gay Rodeo exclusive event that consists of a team of two running 50 ft from the starting line to a goat. One team member lifts the goat by the hind legs while the other places a pair of shorts/underwear on the goats legs - one one on each leg, and both teammates running back to the starting line. The underwear needs to stay on the goat until the team crosses the line. Dan and I got to try this three times, which was a very unkind reminder of how out of shape I have gotten. Need to work on that. On the first go round I face planted into the dirt, a great first impression.
Calf Roping on Foot: Each contestant is positioned 2 ft behind the chute gate hinge posts. The calf is positioned at the front of the shoot, when the contestant shouts: “PULL”, the shoot gates open and the contestant tries to rope over the calve’s head and catch the neck/bodys/legs/torso from a standing position behind the line. I had planned to set this one out because of my poor depth perception and because I hadn’t had a chance to practice with my new lasso, or any lasso for that fact. I don’t think pretending to be Indiana Jones with my dad’s lasso growing up counted, so I was happy to stand on the edge of the arena and watch Dan. But, one of the guys leading the school walked over to me and told me to: “stop crossing your arms, take this lasso, and get over here.”. A few minutes later I was practicing my lasso twirl and attempting to catch a calf as it came out of the shoot. I did not catch.
Steer Decorating: Another Gay Rodeo exclusive - this is a team event including the “header” and the “tail”. It starts off with a steer in the shoot, the “header” positioned 10 ft away from the shoot door, holding a 25ft rope attached to said steer, and the “tail” positioned directly behind the “header” 40 feet from the shutes holding a ribbon. Once the whistle blows the shoot door is swung open and it’s the teams objective to get the steer and all four of its hooves across the 10 ft line. Then the ribbon must be tied to the steer’s tail, the rope must be slipped off of the steer’s horns, and that’s time. Sounds simple enough, right? RIGHT? While growing up I went to a few rodeos. They were not, in fact gay rodeos so they did not contain Steer Deco. And if you have been paying attention, I have only been to one other gay rodeo and I’m fairly confident I was getting nachos during the first day of the rodeo while this event was going on so I was not exactly familiar with the event. Two seasoned professionals who were helping out with the school were helpful enough to give us a run through and showed us what we were supposed to be doing. Very helpful, but as soon as they were done, multiple people were talking over each other, giving advice and telling me the best way to start out. The general consensus was that most of the time, as soon as the shoot opens, the steer will not want to come out so you need to come up and scare it out, your partner is allowed to help with this as long as they don’t touch the steer. Dan and I started off our small group of students. I was very excited. They asked if I was ready, I said “Yes”. The shoot opened and I don’t remember much. I remember grabbing the rope, I remember the shoot door opening and the steer immediately bolting for it, I remember slamming into the ground, and then feeling hooves a little too close to my body, being dragged for a bit, then hearing “LET GO!” a bunch. I got up, and was immediately annoyed that I let go of the steer. I immediately went to one of the teacher’s and said: “What did I do wrong?” Their response was: “You got a willey one, are you ok?”. Then there were a few people coming up to me after and asking if I was ok, which did not help my embarrassment. Did I know they were looking out for me and concerned? Of course. Did that help with my fear of being perceived as weak and incapable? Absolutely not. Was I able to wipe the annoyed look off my face? Take a guess. We tried again, and about the same scenario happened on the second try: just picture more dragging this time. I thought it would be helpful to coil the rope around my arms for more traction, it was not. The teachers were sure to tell me this afterwards. Then the third time, I got the same steer I had the first go around and was determined not to be thrown on the ground in front of a bunch of people I just met and very badly wanted to impress (healthy, right?). After much coaching I learned that while I was getting ready, I needed to hold the rope as tight as possible with no slack, and that it’s best to wrangle the steer in as quickly as possible as soon as the shoot doors opened, don’t let it come to you. I did just that, was able to get it across the line, held it as steady as possible for Dan to get the ribbon tied on, I got the rope off and we successfully completed the event. Probably took twice the time that most of the people in the rodeo were doing it, but we did it. Bruised body and ego be damned.
Shoot Dogging: You are placed in a shoot with a steer, aimed towards the arena. You grab the steer’s head right along the jawline where they don’t have teeth where a bit would go on a horse and place one hand firmly on the horns. Once the whistle blows, you need to bring the steer out and get it across a 5 ft line before getting it to the ground. We each only got to try this once, I’m chalking it up to my very large mid-section but as soon as I was standing in the shoot with that steer, I knew it’s horns were a little too close for comfort. The whistle blew, the shoot opened, and I got the steer across the line in record time (In my mind) and tried to wrestle it to the ground but in the end, that cookies and cream steer took me out and was the winner. My stomach was scrapped up and bruised but I was actually happy that I didn’t have to tackle a steer, not for lack of trying.
To wrap up rodeo school, we grabbed lunch with the other students and called it an afternoon. After much needed hot showers back at the hotel, we headed to Downtown KC for dinner and Drag Bingo at Hamburger Mary’s. Apparently it is a gay staple and I had no idea, but once experiencing it, I understood why. The bingo was hosted by Melinda Ryder who has been a drag staple in Kansas City for 50 years and is the centerpiece of an exhibit at the The Museum of Kansas City called; “Arrive As A Star. Leave As A Star.” that opened April 12th. The exhibit features costumes, memorabilia, and images surrounding their career. We did not have time to see it this weekend and I am kicking myself for it. The competition was fierce, they had a rule that you had to shout “It’s On” when you are one away from a bingo and if someone didn’t say it, they got called out. Luckily, I never got that close. Dan won one round and selected a basket with the cutest little art of a puppy and a bottle of White Claw vodka? I didn’t even know they made vodka? Friday night ended at 9pm and we crashed back at the hotel.
Saturday kicked off the rodeo and it was a ton of fun. I got to see Dan overcome his fear of calf roping on foot in front of a crowd and that alone made the weekend. He unfortunately did not catch but only a few guys from the entire weekend caught so he was not alone. Later in the day Saturday we did the first round of goat dressing and I just knew we could have done better, I was so dang soar from Friday I could barely run. I think we took 14th with a time of 15.16. Not the worst but definitely not the best. Sunday was more of the same although we shaved 2 seconds off of our time and landed at 13.19 and ranked a bit higher. Improvement! On both days I was studying Steer Decorating and taking notes trying to figure out what I could do better. The steers were not nearly as rowdy and were slow to leave the shoot most of the time. But I did pick up some tips and feel like I will be ready for the next rodeo we compete in.
All in all we had a good weekend and made some new friends so the bruises, mostly to the ego, were all worth it! We made some good connections with folks in other gay rodeo associations from other states and are eager to keep up those conversations when we see them again at other rodeos. Honestly this weekend was multiple steps out of my comfort zone for many reasons- I’m not the best with new social interactions and I’m not very good with sticking with a new hobby or activity if I’m not good at it the first try. I understand that is an incredibly small way of thinking and I need to turn that around which I luckily started to do. Baby steps, baby. Luckily neither of us were deterred and we are both actually even more excited now to dive head-first into competing in gay rodeos. We know what we need to work on and what we can do to better ourselves (as best as we can without animals to practice with) and we are both eager to do so!
